ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize