Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You are a genius and a whore.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
