You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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