Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
