You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
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