she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
