Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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