I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
