we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize