He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
tequila makes me forget i have legs
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
