well I can't set my house on fire every night
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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