I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
