A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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