You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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