I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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