the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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