my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
