I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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