So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
