she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
