Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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