just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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