feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
How external is "for external use only"?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
