Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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