You're so nebulous sometimes
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
