Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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