no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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