Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
