So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
