Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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