Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
