O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
