he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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