you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
