Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize