I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
FUCK WHALES
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
