toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
