I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
