tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
