First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
