i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
