You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
