yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
