Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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