the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
