Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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