i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
