Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
as a side note pls kill me
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
