my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
