I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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