I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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