So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
