i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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