wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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