she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
