Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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