I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
