I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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