belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
